What did I ever do to you Asuka?
by zman123
Summary: Finally unable to take any more of Asuka's causeless abuse towards him despite his best attempts to keep her happy, Shinji one day snaps and questions just what he did to deserve such horrific treatment from her when he has done nothing but be as kind and friendly to her as he possible could. Not realising he is not alone in thinking Asuka is wrong. One of those who think so, Rei.
1. I haven't done anything wrong!

**I haven't done anything wrong! **

"Asuka?" said the brown-haired premier pilot of NERV one night, as his red-haired roommate lay in the same bed as him causing him to shake and shiver in great fright with her mere presence.

"What is it, idiot?" she eventually deigned to reply after a few moments of tense silence.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Shinji quietly asked, ignoring the insult he had gotten so used to hearing now that it had just become a normal part of how he viewed himself on a day to day basis without complaint. "What did I ever do to you?"

The suddenness of this question seemed to genuinely shock the red haired German as her jaw dropped the slightest bit unseen by him since he was looking the other way, hoping that by doing so he would reduce the risk of being labelled "a creep" and given another kick to his face.

When she didn't initially answer, he steeled himself and continued his line of questioning. He sensed he had the advantage for once, and he was not about to let this one chance go to waste. He didn't know how much more of Asuka's abuse he could take before his skull cracked open and as much as he did want to just kill himself and end it all, the place that would put the other EVA pilots and the world that needed him and his pilot skills, kept him from wanting to die just yet.

He was no messiah, but he knew that as corrupt as the majority of the world had become after the first impact with everyone blaming each other left and right, that there existed innocent bystanders who had nothing to do with anything and did not deserve punishment for crimes they took no part in.  
For every totalitarian government leader brutalizing their people in the most inhumane way possible, there existed a group of servants, forced labourers, people like Rei and Dr Akagi who were simply following the rules and unable to do anything else.

It was these thoughts which calmed him down each time he saw the edge of a balcony and readied himself to make a leap. It was these ideals which stopped him from reaching forward each time he was left alone in a room where there was a rope and a chair.

His meetings with Rei, had revealed to him that he was not alone in his misery and his search for some sort of companion in this bleak, uncaring planet.  
He was not the only lost child whose life had amounted to nothing more than one humiliation conga after another no matter how hard he seemed to try.

And if nothing else, he wanted the world safe so that those other unfortunate souls, wherever they might be could find the friendship and happiness he knew he'd never find himself.  
And he did not need a cracked skull to pilot effectively.

The nicest man in the world had a breaking point. His breaking point came today.

They say that an innocent man would break down angrier and angrier each hour with the injustice he suffered while a guilty man would become more quiet and passive.  
And Shinji liked to think that after all he had gone through for the simple sake of making Asuka a little happier, he was at least partly innocent.

"Did something I do make you angry, Asuka? Or do you just like seeing other people in pain and sadness so that you can feel better about yourself? I need to know."

Asuka made no reply.

"I cooked your meals." Shinji insisted impatiently. "I tidied your room, I let you share my room when you felt lonely, I massaged you when your body was sore, and I sat at your bedside when you were sick.  
And if that wasn't enough, I pilot an EVA even though I can't stand piloting just so I can keep you safe from harm. I mean, how many times have I had to save you by now when you nearly got yourself killed by an Angel? How many?"

"A lot…" Asuka uncontrollably blurted out, her brain and mouth not cooperating in that one second.

"Do you know how bad it is for me, Asuka?" Shinji demanded, getting angrier with every word completely uncharacteristic of the gentle introvert he was supposed to be. "Do you know how terrifying the prospect of being in one of those horrible machines which could malfunction and kill me dead at any moment in the most slow and painful way possible is? Do you realize how scary it is to then have to fight an even worse monster which wants nothing more than to eat me alive in said machine?"

"It's not easy for me either." Asuka could not help but admit, once again her rational thoughts giving way to instinct and humanity.

"Well at least for you when you come back from the battlefield, everyone is there to congratulate you and say" Here he broke into a deliberately bad imitation of Misato's voice. "Oh well done Asuka. Congratulations. You rule."  
He reverted back to his own sad and broken voice.

"While all anyone does to me, is tell me I suck. They tell me I did nothing right, even when I did everything in a battle while all you did was sit there complaining. They tell me I nearly caused another impact even when I had just as little clue as anyone else that I was doing that, and no one even bothered to inform me of the risk because they didn't know either."

He turned to look his roommate straight in her now lightly trembling eyes as he raised his voice to a frightening extreme which could crack bones.

"**So don't make that excuse, Asuka. Don't pretend the struggles we go through are equal. And even if we were equal, that doesn't give you the excuse to punch and kick me on a whim every time you're having an off day. It doesn't give you any right whatsoever to treat me like a pile of rubbish when I don't treat you that way. I don't insult you. I don't beat you up. I don't ask you to do my chores for me even when I'm still covered in injuries from an Angel attack and it hurts like hell just to get out of bed. So why would you do these mean things to me if you don't hate me**?"

"B, but." Asuka tried to say only to be cut off mid sentence by a now hysterical Shinji.

"YOU KNOW I CAN'T PILOT WELL IF YOU KEEP INJURING ME AND YOU STILL DO IT! YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A BAD PILOT EVEN WHEN IT'S YOU'RE FAULT THAT I'M THAT WAY.  
YOU ACCUSE ME OF NOT NOTICING YOUR AFFECTIONS EVEN THOUGHT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'VE SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH WITH HOW YOU CONSTANTLY BULLY ME AROUND LIKE I'M YOU'RE SLAVE."

He stopped briefly to catch his breath as he clutched his incredibly sore head which had been injured by the loudness at which he had been shouting, unaware of how truly afraid he had made his roommate with his outburst of righteous fury.

"You want to do the world a favour? Go back to Germany, where you belong." He ordered to a now almost crying Asuka, his voice softer but no less dangerous. "You might think you're some sort of saint Asuka. But the truth is, you probably did less damage when you were just a normal schoolgirl back in Germany."

"Shinji wait…" Asuka pleaded through a sob.

"Why? So you can keep insulting me and telling me how useless I am? So you can lecture me on how I'll never measure up to anything even when I'm literally the guy that picks up all your slack!?  
Spare me your lies, Asuka and just leave me in peace. Leave me alone so I can wallow in the misery you've caused me in silence. At least do that."

He stood up with his back turned to her, knowing that if he took a look at her fake tears he would be fooled once more into thinking she had any feeling for him other than contempt.

"Everything I did. I did to make you proud. Every choice I made, I made to try and make you see how much you meant to me. I've tried Asuka, really, I've tried. But I can't keep trying. I can't keep taking punches to my face. I need to keep my skull intact for when I pilot my EVA and save my friends, my real friends who do actually give a damn about me and everything I go through. Like Rei and that new girl, Mari."

Asuka said nothing.

"And you can tell Misato that she's a terrible guardian for letting me take so many punches to the face without any sort of care in the world for me." He barked as he stepped closer to the doorway.

"If there's anything, absolutely anything bad you can think off that I've done to you to deserve a fraction of the abuse you've put me through, now's the time to tell me."

Asuka opened her mouth to insult him hotly, but terror took the sound before she could make it.

"I'm going to call child protective services." He said, with a sob of his own as tears blurred his vision unseen by her.

"I'm going to have you arrested for assaulting a minor. For harassing a desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope, whose mum died and whose dad blames him for everything wrong in the world. Punch me now and you'll just give me one more incident to report."

"Wait, come back." Asuka tried to protest as she tried to move from the bed, but Shinji's cold, bleak stare of utter contempt and loneliness kept her paralyzed.

"Actions have consequences, Asuka. And now you're paying yours. You can try and convince me that you care. You can try and lie to me that I have actually made you proud and try to get me to believe your lies. But until you really can show me that you're not going to keep punching me in the face ,when I've done nothing wrong, this is goodbye."

And he resolutely turned away from the bully that had domestically abused him since the day she arrived in his life and shut the door behind him as he went to find a phone.  
As he walked across the apartment floor, he could not help but feel that a great load had been lifted from his shoulders.

He was still an underpaid minor who was given pennies to risk his neck and his sanity while the higher-ups raked in the dough.  
But at least he was now an underpaid minor without any bruises on his face to inhibit his performance in each battle.

Maybe he had been a little too harsh on Asuka after all. Maybe her own tragic past should have warranted her more sympathy points from him.  
But he still knew deep inside of him, that not having to worry about being punched in the face every day he came back from his deeply unpleasant job was more than worth what he had done.

_It probably is just played for laughs in the series. But the biggest problem I always had with Asuka's character isn't her rough mannerisms or her brooding over her past. It's the fact she thinks it's a good idea to constantly beat the guy who basically saved her life several times over by now, and who does all her chores everyday while she lazes about. And this is one aspect that I know the show is never, ever going to improve in. The show is never going to acknowledge that what Asuka did was wrong and that she should be thanking the guy who saved her life several times over instead of insulting him._

_Not even Rebuild of Evangelion Asuka ever thanked Shinji. Rebuild of Evangelion, indeed. _

_Even Gendo and Misato occasionally gave Shinji a small congratulations if he did well.  
Watch the entire series and you'll see that in spite of saving Asuka's life almost every few episodes, the number of times Asuka has ever given Shinji any kind of thank you, is zero. Absolutely zero. _

_And since Asuka has had a childhood of being ignored by her parents, she should know exactly how Shinji feels. So at least in my opinion, its her fault that Shinji didn't save the world and her fault that Shinji doesn't pilot as well as he could.  
How could you pilot if you had a broken skull? _


	2. Asuka, you have no excuse

**You have no excuse for your violence, Asuka. **

As Shinji walked to the kitchen where he knew his apartment had a phone, heavy but quick footsteps echoed across the floor behind him following the noise of an opening door.  
He waited until he could see the reflection of the cause of almost all his grief and misery in the last few years through the glass of a clock on the wall before he very reluctantly turned around with a look of complete and utter hatred.

A strong form of hatred, made all the stronger by how long he had tried to feel the slightest hint of love instead for the fiend he now directed it towards.

How many times had he had tried to save her life at the cost of his own?  
How long had he taken the horrible way she treated him in absolute silence?  
The food and chores he woke up every day at the crack of dawn to get done so that she could begin to see even the slightest reason not to put him down even more.  
The times he sat in the hospital, setting aside his own pain to try and help her through her pain as best he could. Crying for her. Begging her to wake up and be alright.

All so that she could come home to kick his butt once more, even as he rejoiced in her recovery and her return.

"Are you going to hit me again?" Shinji demanded, spreading his arms out wide, too angry to cry any more.  
"Because you know that I can't pilot well if you punch me. And if I can't pilot well, I can't save the world. And if I don't save the world, we are all going to die. You, me and everyone we know along with everyone we don't know, is going to die if I can't pilot well."

"I should kill you right now" Asuka retorted, on the verge of a meltdown herself.

"You don't need to kill me, Asuka. The Angels and my dad will take care of doing that for you. Why bother with putting my icky blood on your beautiful hands when I'm pretty much doomed anyway." Shinji growled as all the memories of the times he cried for her when she was unconscious came back to him, as clearly as if they all happened just yesterday.

"I know what you are going to say Asuka. You are going to tell me that your mum killed herself because of your dad and left you as an orphan. And that after I somehow did better than you did being an EVA pilot, you got jealous and since then you've always hated me."

He clutched his head in utter helplessness.

"Well guess what Asuka? My mum killed herself because of my dad as well, and now he flat out wants me dead as well. And I wasn't trying to be better than you or take anything away from you or anything. I just wanted to protect the people I loved with my life, including you, and to maybe make a few friends along the way but that's not important."

He grinned crazily as he punched himself in the head.

"You like seeing me in pain, Asuka? You like it, well do you?"

Asuka stood shock still, unsure of how to react. "Gott in Himmel, hilf" She pleaded in her mothertongue of German.

He punched himself hard a few more times, his cracked smile not fading even as he reeled back from his self-inflicted beatdown.  
"You like this, Asuka? This where you get your sick kicks?"

"I hate you, stupid." Asuka spat eventually, unsure of what else to say at this moment of incredibly stupid masochism.

"You hate the guy that saved your life countless times. You hate the nice friendly guy who literally goes out of his way every day to make your life as comfortable and easy as he possibly can and doesn't so much as bat an eyelid when you hit him for no reason."

"You're weak. And I only like strong people." Asuka quipped, not at all caring about the internal bleeding that Shinji was beginning to suffer as a result of the relentless beating he had given himself.

"And you're strong?" Shinji asked as his headache began to intensify and he began to get woozy. "You think you're strong when every time you have a problem, you have to load all your sadness onto me in the most malicious and hurtful way possible? You think you're confident when you can't even take the fact that I accidentally did better than you did, without even intending to? You think we're ever going to win against the Angels if more than half the time I pilot, I have to do it with a broken skull and a bleeding nose?"

"Well I'm just saying you're weak." Asuka reiterated. "And until I no longer see you as weak, I'm never going to like you, ever."

"The guy who's won literally every fight you couldn't win yourself, and who has to then save your life is weak. The guy whose been taking your violent beatdowns without so much as a "please stop beating me up" for years on end now, is somehow not strong? Sorry, but I don't even know what your definition of strong is anymore Asuka? Do you live in some sort of imaginary world where they speak some crazy language I don't understand? Because if you do, please tell me." Shinji spread out his hands as his vision blurred more.

"Well you're a coward. And cowards aren't worth the space they take up on Earth." Asuka was desperately trying to pull more and more rebuttals out of her ass now as every one of Shinji's points hit bullseye in spite of what she tried to tell herself. She needed to be right and Shinji needed to be wrong.

Shinji uttered a dry laugh of insipidity as he gave himself another punch to the head.  
He no longer cared if he died. He just needed Asuka to see the error of her ways so that she would at least vaguely repent and not continue to direct her cruelty towards his friends when he was no longer there to stop her.

"A coward? You think I am a coward? I take life-threatening risks when fighting the Angels that you never would, while you hesitate and let the Angels nearly kill you making my job all the harder.  
I stay beside you at the hospital to give you moral support, and you just abandon me to go do your own thing every time I end up in the hospital. I do that knowing that you're going to get angry and violent at me the second you wake up.  
I do every one of your chores for you and cook every one of your meals to absolute perfection without even having to be asked, but you're all too happy to leave me to suffer in solitude every time I beg you for just a tiny bit of help, and only because literally no one else around me would help me."

He cleared his throat a little as he felt the ache in his cranial region intensify.

"And most of all Asuka, I never hit you. I never insult you. Even behind your back, I only say good things about how amazing I think you are and how I'd love for once just to see your smile.  
And I don't so much as lift a finger to stop you when you come to beat me up, because I know you like beating me up."

He looked utterly dumbfounded.

"In what world could any of my actions be seen as anything other than brave? What do I need to even do to prove myself to you once and for all, huh? Do I need to hit you the same way you hit me?  
Do I need to insult you constantly until I shatter the last of the self-esteem you still have, like you've done to me?  
Do you want me to say "Do it yourself" every time you ask me to do something for you because apparently according to you, being strong and brave means being an ass who makes everyone's life around them a hassle in a time when things are already bad enough as it is."

"Niceness is a weakness…" Asuka tried to weakly reason only to be cut off mid-sentence as Shinji punched himself once more.

"Bull." He shouted, pointing accusingly at her with one finger and clutching his head with the other. "That's bull. I've seen the way you talk and act around Misato, your friend Hikari, Kaji and the other people at NERV and I can safely say that it isn't anything like how you behave around me.  
So don't give me that crap. Don't pretend you don't know how to treat others with respect and dignity when you clearly do, and you do it every single day while you're making my life a living hell."

He stamped his feet and unleashed an animalistic howl of anguish that sounded more animal than human which seemed to make the room resound with its loudness.

"WHY!" he demanded as he began to feel the first effects of blackout "WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY DO THOSE OTHER JERKS DESERVE KINDNESS AND AFFECTION AND I DON'T! WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE COUNTLESS TIMES WHEN ALL I GET IS MORE CRAP FROM THE PEOPLE I SAVE?  
WHY IS it ALRIGHT FOR OTHERS TO GET UPSET AT ME OVER NOTHING WHEN I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE MAD AT ANYONE EVEN WHEN THEY'RE ACTIVELY RUINING MY LIFE!?"

He buckled to his knees as Asuka began to fume, red in the face.

"I'M A NICE GUY!" he protested, still at the top of his lungs. "I'M GOOD. I'M FRIENDLY. I'M POLITE. I DON'T GO AROUND BEATING PEOPLE UP EVEN WHEN THEY BEAT ME UP. I ONLY GOT ANGRY AT MY DAD ONCE AFTER BEING MISTREATED BY HIM FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. I'M A SANE AND SENSIBLE MAN WHO CARES ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM!"

He finally ran out of air in his lungs and he stopped to take a few breaths as Asuka, far from being sorry for what she had done, accosted him with yet another insult she had come up with in the time it took him to launch his maximum volume tirade and recover his breath.

…

"That was Shinji's scream. He must be in terrible danger. Come on Mari, we need to get in there quickly." Ordered a small girl with short blue hair as she gestured to her brown-haired companion with red glasses to hurry to the front door she was now stood before, pacing impatiently.

Artificial humans had better hearing than normal ones, and while Rei knew that Mari had not heard the noise or perhaps not heard it as clearly as her, she had gotten the brunette's attention, nonetheless.

"Alright Rei. We'll go quickly. Let me just get this key out and open the door and we'll be inside." The newest brunette pilot of NERV replied with concern, even as she hurried towards the door while fumbling for the key, she kept in one of the pockets of her pale green Yukata. It was not easy to run in it especially when you were wearing sandals, but she eventually made it to where Rei in her pale blue Yukata the same colour as her hair was already standing, looking more and more pale by the second.

As the two girls who were themselves EVA pilots alongside Shinji and Asuka hurried across the dirty apartment floor hand in hand, Rei reflected on the events of earlier this day which had brought her and Mari to the very apartment in which the first person to ever show her any sort of concern and compassion resided.

She, Shinji and Mari had been lucky enough to find each other in the briefing room after Asuka had left in a huff following a fortunately not too difficult Angel battle in which none of them were seriously hurt.

"Hey you two. There's this amazing festival in the city later this evening, and it's going to rock. There's going to be tons of awesome free food, music and lots of amazing things to see. It would mean a lot to me if someone could come with me. It's no fun going on my own." Mari had gently requested, breaking the awkward ice between the three least violent NERV pilots and by extension, three least violent NERV members.

Shinji and Rei turned to one another to consider this offer. They carefully considered the fact that they were both badly abused introverts who had been beaten into the ground all their lives by uncaring monsters who did not deserve the title of "human" anymore than the Angels did.

They considered how from the honesty in her eyes and the upfront positive energy in her voice when she spoke, that Mari seemed trustworthy enough at the very least. They considered that her name was Mari Makinami Illustrious and not Asuka Langely Soryu, Gendo Ikari (the evil emperor as Shinji, Rei and Mari preferred to secretly refer to him by) or Kozo Fuyutsuki, Gendo's sleazeball lackey almost as bad as Gendo himself. A beautiful name for a beautiful person, who was beautiful on both the inside and the outside.

And last of all, they considered how none of the three of them could have made a cakewalk out of what was supposed to be a nigh unwinnable mission suicide without their mutual cooperation. ~  
How they three had put their courage and their skills together to rescue an overly hasty Asuka after she had managed to get herself nearly killed with her recklessness and flagrant disregard for caution, without getting so much as a thank you.

"I would." Shinji began, forcing every last ounce of his remaining bravery into his mouth as he returned the smile of the brown-haired British woman whose face could not help but remind him of his late mother almost as much as Rei did. "I would like that very much, Mari. Thank you."

"As would I" Rei managed after a tense silence to reply, encouraged by Shinji's decision.  
If he agreed to something despite his hesitative nature, it must have meant that it was a thing worth dying for.

"Oh that's wonderful news." Mari had chipperly replied, nearly bursting into song with every word. "You two go home and when it's nearly time for the festival, I'll come fetch you two with my car. Yes I have a car. We'll all wear Yukata's for the festival because it's only cool if we do that. I'll get mine ready and I'll bring one for both of you. But for now, go home and get some rest."

"We will Mari." Shinji said, speaking for both himself and Rei. "Thank you."  
And he handed Mari the spare set of keys he had for his apartment building (which he got when he once thought he lost the original set and got a replacement only to find the original later) which was too cheap to even have a buzzer system for its residents and modestly explained that since he was very shy and a knock was unlikely to reach all the way up to his room on the sixth floor, it would be best if her and Rei came up and knocked.

He concluded the meeting as he, Rei and Mari had gone their separate ways by claiming that he would be awaiting his first public outing in his entire lifetime with his first two **real** friends, with bated breath.

To which Mari had returned with a knowing nod and a reassuring smile.

"The elevator's not working." Mari anxiously reported as she tapped the button supposed to summon the lift with no success.

"Take the stairs!" Rei instructed, leading by example and nearly tripping several times in her hurry to reach the sixth floor quickly. The urgency in the earlier cry of terror clearly told her that the boy who was her sole reason for wanting to live and find her own identity was in great trouble.

And if the story he once told her of his roommate being a narcissistic, hot tempered psychopath along with his commanding major being a drunk slob held any sort of weight whatsoever, then…

"I'm sorry Shinji…" Rei sobbed silently to herself as Mari joined her in ascending the seemingly endless flight of stairs which seemed to go on forever upwards. "For everything. I should have listened to you. I should have done something more to help you. You can blame it all on me, Shinji."

Oh Shinji…

…

"No one needs you, stupid. No one would even notice if you were gone. Why don't you just go kill yourself so that there'll be one less mouth to feed and we'll all be better off without you."

She felt for sure that after doing so much shouting and raging, this insult was sure to crush Shinji and finally make him concede defeat. She could not have been more wrong as the now on his knees Shinji looked up to let her see the dark tunnels he now had for eyes as he gritted his teeth so hard he felt they might break.

"Who are you talking to right now?" he asked in a surprisingly composed and rational tone, even as Asuka got darker and darker through his fading vision. "Who is it, you think you see?"

Asuka was puzzled. What more could this idiotic brat have to say?

"Do you know how many completely innocent lives depend on me and what would happen if I stopped being a pilot? I mean even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know, how much NERV makes a year because of me? A business, big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. DISSAPEARS! It ceases to exist without me."

His grimace hardened and a mighty flame began to flicker in his tunnel like eyes as he continued his rebuttal.

"No! you clearly don't know who you're talking to right now, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Asuka. I AM THE DANGER! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me?"

He looked up further, letting Asuka see even more of the burning fury in his dark eyes.

"No. I am the one who knocks."

His passion and energy behind his words momentarily silenced his roommate and he quickly thought of his next words before she could recover.

"You know Asuka, as much as you make me upset, you also give me a reason to live. You give me the perfect reason why I can't just kill myself however much I want to. Because I know. I know that if I die, you'll just pick on Rei instead."

Asuka tried to put on a face of denial only to look guilty as charged instead as Shinji grimaced in acknowledgement.

"That's right Asuka. Rei told me about how she was trying to make you feel better once in the elevator, trying to convince you that there was more to life than just the Evangelions and you tried to slap her. She told me that you didn't like her because of "nepotism" she had zero control over. Nepotism given by my dad who even I don't approve off, might I add. Say what you will about how I acted like a coward in front of you, but Rei did absolutely nothing to you. And if I die, you'll just pick on Rei because she had an easier time getting into NERV than you. And then you'll probably go and pick on Ritsuko, err doctor Akagi for having more degrees and being better at science than you. And maybe officer Ibuki will be after that."

Asuka tried to shake her head.

"You can dish it out Asuka, but you can't take it. You can pick on me and Rei all you want because you know we won't fight back. You know we care about you the most. Because despite all of our flaws, deep down you know we are nice people with all the nice things you want in a friend, even if you would never care to admit it. I let you abuse me so that you wouldn't abuse the other friends I care about. And say what you will about that, but I think that at least makes me sort of like a hero."

"You have nothing that I want!" Asuka roared. And before Shinji could say anything more as he slumped further to the ground, his head now ringing so painfully he could hardly keep his eyes open.

"I can beat you up any way I want. And no child protective services is going to protect you from me." Asuka dominantly asserted as clumsy but quick footed steps began to echo across the complex getting louder and louder.

"Everything you've done for me, doesn't mean a thing."

Asuka took a breath as she pulled back her right arm in front of the now barely conscious Shinji.  
"What you've done, DOESN'T MEAN A THING! AND NOW, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

The few seconds as she bared her teeth, pulled back her right arm further before her fist started to go forward, a key turned in the lock of the front door opening it quickly and the same footsteps she had paid no heed to earlier sounded once again, this time loud enough to disrupt her concentration.

Before she could register what was going on, strong hands grabbed both her arms and pinned them to her side tightly. She tried to break free from their grasp, but they only held her tighter than ever.

The shaking Shinji could not believe what he was seeing as he rubbed his head a little to clear his vision enough to see the unbelievable sight of Mari and Rei restraining Asuka's arms, preventing her from delivering what would no doubt be one of her most merciless and murderous blows she ever gave to him if she had been allowed to continue uninterrupted.

Perhaps that punch really would have killed him for real.

"I really thought you would be better than this, Asuka" Rei angrily remarked, iridescently attractive in her blue yukata as she continued to keep Asuka's arm completely immobilized.

"As did I" Mari added, her green yukata no less stunningly eye-catching. "The poor chap went through so much for us, and especially you and you really have no shame. Just how do you sleep at night?"

And as the two of them took in the joyous expression on their shared best friend's face, they knew they had become more than just EVA pilots 1 and 4.  
The two of them had become the first priest and bishop of a new religion. A hopeful religion that would give people hope instead of breaking it like all those before.  
Rei had become the first priest and Mari the first bishop of a sacred mission. The sacred church of saint Shinji.

"In Shinji we trust." the two of them intoned solemnly and silently in perfect unison, promising silently to each other that at the first opportunity, they would pray with each other to their new saviour.

"My friends…" Shinji croaked, the sheer euphoria in the moment granting him the necessary power to just barely vocalize his utter joy in spite of his dizziness.

Wow, he told himself as Asuka continued to thrash about to break free of Rei and Mari's hold to no avail. Dreams really do come true after all. Kindness really did pay off.

Even if it was years overdue, there was no denying the simple joy he had now that the cavalry had arrived for him.  
And people told him that the cavalry didn't exist or that if it did, only in fictional stories people wrote to waste the time of others.

The cavalry was a beautiful, wonderful thing.  
Especially when it comprised of those you loved and cared for with all your heart and soul, who actually loved you back.  
Praise be to the cavalry. The real cavalry.

_While Asuka does indeed have a sympathetic backstory, so does Shinji. And while I won't deny that Shinji's not perfect, but then no human is, he at least does not go around beating up his friends or insulting them. And that one time he did insult his father, he had been pushed to the edge. He had had everything taken away from him and he had kept all the rage pent up inside him for years now out of fear of hurting anyone and only when he had no better way to release the rage did it slip out completely by accident.  
I don't think you can deny the fact that having a friend who cooks your meals, cleans your messes and sits by your beside when you're not well and never says anything bad about you unless you actively try to push him overboard through your twisted sadism, is miles better than one who punches you in the face and insults you constantly._

_What I'm saying is that a world with only Shinji's would be miles better than one with only Asuka's. At the very least you don't get punched in the face repeatedly or insulted for doing absolutely nothing wrong._

_It's not Shinji's fault he's better at piloting. He certainly didn't get better out of malice._

_And very few of his actions until the End of Evangelion when he had literally lost all his marbles through a lifetime of constant mistreatment and giving people more than a thousand chances that they didn't take, could be described as "cowardly" or "weak"._

_He wins all the major battles of the series that none of the other pilots could win._

_There are a lot of things Asuka and Shinji's dad could have done.  
Shinji's dad could have just given his son more money so that Shinji could get ice cream and tasty food to try and soothe a bit of his sadness instead of paying him hardly anything.  
And Asuka could have just not hit Shinji in the face. She can hate Shinji, but she doesn't have to insult him or beat him up. Shinji never beat her up or insulted her._

_And actually, the only reason Rei decided to give people a chance to come back from instrumentality and defy Gendo was because Shinji was nice to her. So niceness actually was the answer.  
And if you think about how the war against Angels would be so much easier if the countries cooperated more then, its even more ironic._


	3. It's not just me you abuse It's Rei too

**It's not just me you abuse. It's Rei too. **

_Before we begin this chapter: a brief summary of each major Evangelion character. Despite the complexity and great amounts of personality each character possesses, each character can be summed up in two words or less. Here are the two-word summaries of each character in opposing pairs and no particular order otherwise:_

_Mari – Safe. (Safe to be around. Safe to befriend. Just really friendly)  
Asuka – Toxic. (A toxic friend. A toxic personality and a toxic view of everyone around her)_

_..._

_Kaworu - PICK ME!  
Gendo – STAY AWAY! _

_..._

_Ritsuko Akagi. – RIGHT! (To the extent she can't even bring herself to kill Gendo until at the very end) _

_Kozo Fuyutsuki. – WRONG! (He only pretends to be a good guy. Once he succeeds, he plans to keep all the money for himself)_

_..._

_Maya Ibuki – Yes. (She's really nice)  
Misato – No. (she lets Asuka give Shinji beating after beating, and went on to become the leader of a group just as bad as NERV while completely disowning Shinji after he saved the world in Evangelion 3)_

_..._

_Sakura Suzuhara – Good. (Best minor character ever in Evangelion 3)_

_SEELE - Bad_

_..._

_Rei – Maybe. (sometimes good, sometimes bad. Sometimes abuses Shinji, sometimes stands up for him)_

_..._

_Shinji – This one. (Like Neo, like Luke Skywalker. He is the one. One of the kindest characters in Anime, period considering what the poor guy goes through.)  
_

_Kaji – Wicked. (His loyalty to Gendo and disloyalty to his true friends ruined him)_

_…_

_And now for yet another bit of trivia:_

_**Shinji Ikari  
**Race: Human  
Class: Paladin. Oath of Devotion  
Alignment: Neutral Good  
Notes: All of his spells are healing or protective ones. No attack spells. Very high health points out of his desire to protect his friends and right his wrongs. _

**_Rei Ayanami_****  
**_Race: Halfling  
Class: Rogue  
Alignment: Chaotic Good (not yet fully reformed but trying very hard)  
Notes: Very low strength and charisma but very high dexterity. Strongly opposes anyone who opposes Shinji. _

**_Mari Makinami Illustrious  
_**_Race: Drow (Dark elf)  
Class: Bard  
Alignment: Neutral Good  
Notes: Extremely great Charisma and good wisdom. Hates to see people frown or be enslaved or try to enslave others. But does believe in rules that truly benefit everyone._

_**Asuka Langley Soryu  
**Race: Elf  
Class: Barbarian  
Alignment: Lawful Evil  
Notes: Don't let the "lawful" bit fool you, this girl doesn't care about anyone but herself. High Strength and dexterity but luckily, low health points and constitution on account of her secret insecurities._

Finding herself unable to break free of the determined grasp of "Shinji's two friends" after numerous attempts, Asuka eventually contended herself with glaring coldly at Shinji as the adrenaline in her body began to lose its potency and her head began to cool.

"Rei? Mari? Was machst du denn hier?" she asked angrily, unable to speak in anything but German on account of the confusing tirade of emotions going through her mind.

"To stop you from abusing our friend Shinji" Mari replied understanding Asuka perfectly, her time spent diligently studying at languages school not wasted in the slightest.

Disbelief in both how the oddball glasses nerd with the stupid brown hair actually understood her mother tongue to such a professional degree.  
As well as how the cowardly brat she had spent her life inventing reasons to detest, had not just one but two people care enough about his well being to not only pay him a visit in his own home and do it in such fancy outfits that even to a posh girl such as herself ,must have cost a bomb.

But what made Asuka most awed was just how much courage the two girls now holding her hostage had to have had in order to stand up to the most hot tempered and feared bully in the entirety of Tokyo-3 if not the world. She had been sure up until this fateful moment of intervention, that no one wasn't afraid of the fearsome Asuka Langley Soryu. No one in Tokyo-3 at least.  
Her years spent honing her intimidation skills to a shine had surely given everyone around her the message not to get on her wrong side.

But here were two uppity challengers who were not fearful of her in the slightest. And they were a glasses girl who looked more suited for a cram school full of hippies than piloting a killer robot, and a completely emotionless artificial human who had made a vow never to feel close to anyone other her creator whose faults she was completely blind toward. The two oddballs she least expected to step up in defiance, were stepping up in defiance.

Forget the gates of hell being opened, they had long since stood open for ages, and now hell was freezing over with ice rinks in place of where the molten lava was meant to be and laughing skaters with ice cream in place of the tortured souls and demons.

"Geht mir aus dem weg!" she shouted weakly through a now very sore throat; her language lobes still corrupted by confusion. Not one word he had said to her, was a lie. It was true, it was all true. And that was what made his words sting all the harder.

"NEIN!" Mari firmly responded, very briefly moving one of her hands away from Asuka's arm to adjust her glasses a little taking care to keep her remaining arm's grip all the tighter in the process.

Asuka eventually contended herself with lowering her head with a snarl as she grudgingly accepted her fate of being held in place by the two girls who loved the boy she hated.

Mari took a look at the bruise on Shinji's head that he had inflicted upon himself in his tirade of self-loathing. "Did Asuka do this to you?"

"No" Shinji solemnly replied, still unable to stop himself from feeling a tiny dose of sympathy for Asuka in spite of all that torment she had given him because of his niceness. "It wasn't her."

"Who did this to you?" Rei asked, concern and tranquil fury filling her usually emotionless tone.

"A MADMAN, YOUR HONOUR!" Shinji burst out, the negative feelings accumulated from a lifetime of abuse and neglect still angering him in spite of how much anger he had already released. "A DESPERATE FOOL AT THE END OF HIS PITIFUL ROPE!"

Rei and Mari did not need to ask twice to realize exactly what he meant, as cryptic as he probably intended it to sound.  
"You don't mean to say, you hit yourself. Please tell me you didn't hit yourself." Mari pleadingly asked, her voice full of concern.

"Asuka would have done it if I didn't." Shinji bluntly stated dropping all hints of subtlety now that he could see that his friends knew him too well for him to bluff anything. They really were his true, true friends.

"I see." Mari eventually said, unable to think of what else to say in this moment where she could see the red-haired German still struggling weakly to tear her arm from her grasp, as nothing but a brute.  
For Shinji to be punched and insulted by the hacks at NERV who didn't give a damn about anyone but themselves anyway was one thing.  
For Shinji to be punched and insulted by his declared best friend and roommate and fellow pilot he repeatedly claimed to be closest to through both his words and actions, was another.  
For him to be driven off the deep end enough where he did not even need anyone to initiate a beatdown before he did it to himself…

This was a new low. A new and unforgivable low.

"Mari. Go see if you can find a first aid kit somewhere. I'll keep an eye on Asuka and Shinji." Rei piped up, having listened in silence for a while.

"Copy that Nami Blue." Mari affectionately responded to the blue haired artificial human as she reluctantly released her grip on Asuka only for Rei to quickly change her formation so that her left arm gripped Asuka's left arm in place, and her right arm gripped Asuka's right arm while she stood behind Asuka.

Mari began to rummage through one cupboard after another as Rei turned her head to look Asuka straight in her eyes with a look of undiluted fury and scorn that would make Gendo in his darkest moments look like a gentle lamb in comparison.

"I should have known it was you, Asuka." Rei chastised as Asuka gritted her teeth so hard she felt they might snap under the pressure. "I should have seen the signs. I should have realized that there was a reason why Shinji seemed livelier and less depressed on days where you were recovering from an Angel attack. I should have realized after you nearly slapped me that time in the elevator, that you were not to be trusted."

Mari placed a few pots of Ramen Noodles and beer cans onto the floor as she continued to rummage deeper into one of the cupboards.

"Our reports showed a massive anomaly in our friend Shinji's mannerisms." Rei continued, her voice full of wisdom and understanding to which Asuka could only enrage herself more, unable to do anything in her restrained position or say anything on account of the tiredness in her strained vocal chords.

"Fits of depression jumping left and right, stopping and starting." Rei exclaimed, sounding more like a therapist than a therapist. She intensified her gaze into Asuka so that her sight seemed to look through her rather than at her.  
"I used to think that it was because of the Angels he had to fight, but now I know it was your fault Asuka.  
Your fault and Mr Ikari's. I guess I'm the idiot for not knowing this sooner."

She shook her head as she continued to keep Asuka pinned, not knowing that Shinji was now looking at the blue haired girl with a new level of admiration he hadn't before.  
Artificial humans had much better body strength than normal ones and she was not at all tired, despite how small and smarmy she looked.

"You know Asuka. There was a time when I thought we could all be friends. All of us. That if I tried to treat you well that you would eventually return the favour. But, you know, I've given up trying to get along with you. Because even if I did manage to get on your good side, you would just find another reason to hate me because you want something to hate and we'd just be back here again."

Rei's voice was tired and frustrated. She had wanted to say this for a long time but never found the opportunity or courage to till today when she had her aggressor finally at her mercy if only for a little while.  
She wanted Asuka to know how she felt as well before she never had another chance again, as well as demonstrating to the fortunately present Shinji once and for all, that she and Asuka were fundamentally very different people despite their shared faults, if only because she wouldn't beat Shinji up for no reason while Asuka would.

Asuka's eyes fell upon the white bag Mari had hastily placed onto the floor when she and Rei first rushed into the apartment room uninvited. She could see that inside were two sets of yukata's one white and one pale red.

"Yes. We were originally going to ask you to come with us to the festival, Asuka." Rei deduced as she saw Asuka's eyes move. "It could have been a very nice day out for you. For all of us. But you've clearly shown that you have no self-control."

"Here Shinji. This should help." Mari comfortingly said as she gave Shinji a painkiller pill and a glass of water as she applied a small amount of another fluid from a bottle onto a cloth before dabbing it gently over the bruised area.

"Thanks" he gratefully replied as he gratefully complied.

"If it was just me who you were mean towards, I'd leave it alone." Rei seriously remarked. "But now I can clearly see it's not just me who you're not friendly with. And I know Shinji might have asked you this before, but now I'm going to ask because I genuinely want to know. What did I ever do to make you have a grudge against me? Not Shinji. Against me? I hardly even interact with you and most of the time, I don't even say two words to you when we go past each other."

"Your hair is stupid." Asuka barked, unable to find a better insult at this moment on account of the soreness in her pinned arms and the embarrassment at being locked into submission by a shrimp runt who just happened to be the commander's favourite.

"So if I change it, will you like me more?" Rei dryly asked, trying without success not to sound sarcastic "Do you want me to grow it out longer and then dye it red like yours?"

"The ugly way you dress, ticks me off." Asuka spat before Rei had even finished her sentence.

"I can go into town tomorrow and buy a yellow dress and red heels." Rei responded, taking less time to formulate her answer than the previous time. "And then you'll like me more?"

"You suck at piloting. You're a terrible pilot."

Rei grinned inwardly. This was actually quite fun in a twisted sort of way.

"Then next time an Angel attacks, I'll be in the frontline while you stay in the back so that I get most of the work done. I'll show you I don't need your help to be just as good as you at beating the Angels."

"Well, um well." Asuka was running out of insult ammunition. She only hoped Rei was running out of rebuttal firepower too. " The way you talk. It's annoying. You're annoying."

Little did poor Asuka know that Rei was only just getting started with her retorts. Rei Ayanami, the sassy queen of retorts and counter arguments. She had been beaten once before by Shinji of all people, but now Asuka was going to lose to her strong suit of arguing a second time in one day. No, this couldn't be happening. Being beaten at her own game in both piloting and now arguing.  
Asuka groaned.

She had challenged the wrong EVA pilot to an Angel battle, and now she had challenged the wrong arguer.

"There are voice modification devices in NERV that can modify my voice to sound exactly like yours. They can even let me copy your accent. And if you want, I can study German too. I'm sure I'll get it quickly. Even quicker if you teach me."

Shinji could not help but simper silently a little at how pathetic Asuka was making herself look with her constant attempts to undermine Rei which only ended up undermining herself.  
And here she went again. After she had already tried and failed many times to not look more pathetic.

"Well then you'd be even more unbearable than you already are." Asuka concluded, trying to end this unwinnable battle of wills as quickly as she could before she disgraced herself further in front of her baka. "No one would take you seriously and everyone would hate you even more than they already do"

"But according to what you say to me, then I'd be perfect" Rei nonchalantly stated. "And ever better. Then you could take the day off and let me do all the piloting. Take a break and relax yourself."

"You would most certainly not be perfect." Asuka mockingly exclaimed, trying to mask her embarrassment with rage.

Rei finally released her hold onto Asuka, and quickly stepped back until she was right next to Shinji and Mari still with her sights locked firmly onto Asuka lest the latter try to spring a surprise ambush in her weakened state.  
She grinned a grin that crowed victory more loudly than any words ever could.

"Are you saying you're not perfect, Asuka?" Rei jokingly inquired, her first smile in what seemed like forever warming Shinji's heart so warmly he felt it might burn up.  
"Because it sounds like that's exactly what you just said."

"What?" Asuka looked shocked as she held back a blush. "N, no. I never said that. I" The words snagged on her tongue.

"Well alright then. If you say so." Rei knew better than to press further and corner Asuka and instead changed the subject, still smiling as Shinji's heart seemed to catch fire, of which she duly took note.  
"What do you want then Asuka? Do you want money? I have a lot of money in my account I don't even know what to do with. Or what do you want?"

"Rei. What are you doing? Asuka needs to be punished for her actions." Mari asked as she finished putting the last touches to Shinji's bandage on his head.

Rei looked at Mari "I'm trying to show her that just as Shinji is a kind and caring soul with a good heart, so am I. I'm nice too and all of you need to know that. I'm different now. I've changed. Shinji showed me how to be a better person."

She turned back at Asuka just as she was preparing to pounce for a surprise attack, only stopping when Rei's eyes had locked with hers again.  
"I'm a reasonable person Asuka (unlike you). Just tell me what you want from me. Anything you can think up, I can make possible. So please, I'm being serious. Name your price."

"Get out of my sight!" Asuka promptly ordered, pointing at the door. "Get out. All of you get out."

To everyone's great surprise, Rei simply took a polite bow, complete calmness and serenity in her expression.  
"Wow" Mari muttered under her breath.  
"Whoa" Shinji said to himself.

"If that is what pleases you, Asuka. Then of course. Me, Mari and Shinji were planning to head out in a moment anyway. And as for when the festival is over, Mari has her own house. We can go to it when we're done and you'll never need to see any of us ever again.  
I'm fairly certain the commander will not mind either, since he's been getting increasingly displeased with how badly you are injuring his premiere pilot that he needs to keep the Angels at bay more than any of us, as well as how irresponsible Major Misato has been behaving of late. But are you certain this is all you really want from me, the nice and altruistic friend that wants only to make you happy?"

"I WANT NOTHING FROM YOU!"

"As you command. Asuka."

"Rei is right Asuka" Shinji added as he took the white Yukata that Mari passed him and headed to a room closer to the door to get changed. "I'm going to leave now, and never come back. I'm going to ask to be put into a different class in school and the only times you will have to endure my presence will be in NERV, and even then I will do what I can to stay out of your sight. You'll never have to see me again, Asuka. Now you can be all by yourself."

Asuka began to crack a smile but a rumble in her stomach brought it right back to a scowl.

"But wait. Who's going to cook my meals. Who's going to clean my room? Shinji come back." By the time she had made it to the room by the doorway, Shinji had already thrown off his jeans, shirt and slippers to replace it with the white Yukata and sandals he would be wearing for the rest of the evening.

"Someone who isn't your worst enemy Shinji Ikari" he bluntly replied, not looking back at her but at the door Mari and Rei were now standing next him by.  
"Because if that's what you really think of me, then I'm truly sorry. I will leave and let you be happy and content with your life."

He opened the door as Asuka continued to get madder and madder.

"Embrace a new life, Asuka. A life devoid of the trouble, misery and torture that Shinji Ikari was unfortunate to give you despite his best efforts to keep you satisfied. Let each and every day be another day in paradise for you from now on." His voice was completely sincere.

And still with his back turned to her, he began to exit the apartment as Asuka leapt at him with a completely insane look in her burning eyes.

Rei simply stood in front of Shinji and Mari and grabbed Asuka's outstretched hand before throwing her opponent over her shoulder, taking care to aim the trajectory of Asuka's fall so that it targeted a soft and fluffy sofa to the left so as not to injure her in any way.

"Farewell, my friend. As you kindly requested, we will leave you in peace from now on and never trouble you again." Rei politely bade as she took a light curtsey before she followed Shinji and Mari into the corridor which would lead them to the stairs.

Long awaited freedom awaited them outside.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to do this, Shinji." Rei repentantly stated as the three friends walked downstairs.

"Don't be. I knew you would one day Rei. I had absolute faith in you." Shinji replied, no hint of anger or resentment in his relaxed and ecstatic intonation.

"I find Gendo's lack of faith in you, disturbing." Mari finished as they finally got to the front door and pulled it open to allow the hot and relaxing summer breeze to caress their faces.

A sea of stars shone in the sky, more vibrant than any the three of them had ever seen before.

No loud noises of alarm or terror. No stiff and cold men in suits rushing around looking important for the sake of looking important.  
The three pilots begged to dream and differ from the hollow lies.

The ending of this glorious day was the dawning of the rest of their lives together.

_So here we are. Chapter 3 somehow. Props to the readers who pointed out that even if the Angels were destroyed, more would take their place. Well, that's not really too different from what's already happening in the world now. Countries constantly keep making better weapons to stay in control and if the entire world worked together, they could just keep improving their arsenal even as the Angels got stronger and more numerous until eventually, an even better weapon than the EVA was found._

_Like say… Jet Alone. Which Gendo sabotaged being the selfish idiot he was._

_Either way, the world will get more done if they work together than if they work alone. They might at least be able to keep the Angels at bay for longer. Even in the show, the pilots do have some downtime and don't have to fight twenty-four seven, enough to have a few hobbies so with better technology it can be improved further._

_Shinji has been stated multiple times to be the best pilot. Multiple times. It is therefore all but outright stated that if he had intervened during the End of Evangelion, the world would be safe and SEELE would have had a Disney villain death.  
The moral I take from Evangelion, me personally is that if you treat a nice and friendly guy badly enough, Karma will eventually come back to bite you in the most painful way possible._

_Yui released Shinji from instrumentality because she loved him and from what we know about it, Instrumentality is a state of constant and unending agony and eternal torment. So of course, people are going to battle to avoid it. If it wasn't so bad, no one would fight it._

_And of course, there's no denying that SEELE are terrible people who are willing to open fire on innocents. Can you really believe anything they say therefore?  
All that was needed was for one guy to treat Shinji with some common human decency. And humanity couldn't even do that._

_I have watched Evangelion. And I can conclude that Shinji does most of the fighting and wins most of the victories. But until next time, thank you all for being such awesome and amazing people for reading and reviewing and I greatly and sincerely appreciate each of your inputs.  
And if you have a different opinion, that's completely fine, I welcome it. I just wanted to entertain you a little is all._


	4. Friends watch each other's backs

**Friends watch each other's backs. Except Asuka. **

_First a bit more trivia:  
**  
Gendo Ikari  
**Race: Dragonborn,  
Class: Paladin. Oath breaker.(used to be Oath of devotion like Shinji)  
Alignment: Neutral Evil  
Notes: Has his lackeys do most of the fighting for him. Despite being a paladin, has very low health. No healing or support skills or spells. Only damage skills._

**_Ritsuko Akagi  
_**_Race: Half elf  
Class: Warlock  
Alignment: Lawful good (Not yet fully reformed since Neutral good is the best)  
Notes: Very high Intelligence. Very low everything else. Is immensely distrusted by Shinji and the other main characters despite being very well intentioned. Carries a very tragic past of being an orphan like Shinji._

**_Kaworu Nagisa  
_**_Race: Dwarf  
Class: Cleric  
Alignment: Lawful good  
Notes: Seeks redemption for the dark powers bestowed to him by his evil god and his terrible past that he had no control over._

Rei was shaking and shivering like it was a frosty winter morning as she walked alongside Shinji and Mari towards Mari's blue SUV instead of the lovely hot summer evening.  
Saying what she said in Shinji's apartment to Asuka had felt great, but now that the adrenaline rush had left her and seeing the redhead's final expression as she closed the door to leave, she could not help but feel a little guilty and scared.

She had said every word that an unemotive introvert with nary a rudimentary grasp of the science of human interactions shouldn't have been able to say.  
She had undertaken every action that the least popular girl in school should not have been able to do to the most popular girl with the largest sphere of influence.

She still remembered the tingling wave of excitation she felt as she had Asuka completely pinned down in her arms, forcing her to feel the complete and utter helplessness she and most likely Shinji had been feeling all their life, and it crushed her conscience just to wonder if in those moments where she only to deliver righteous judgement she had instead gone mad with power instead.

Between the lingering battle with her conscience and how tired she was from keeping a constant grip on Asuka even despite her enhanced strength as an artificial human, Rei drifted off unable to say anything more as Mari drove the car to the festival with her and Shinji in the backseat, their seatbelts fastened.  
She fell onto Shinji's shoulder as sleep overcame her, causing Shinji to nearly faint with embarrassment as he took a look at her completely peaceful face before steeling himself and putting his arm around her as she lay.

So, this was the warmth of human contact.

Everything seemed smooth at first. Rei continued to smile serenely as she snored quietly as the ride continued. It was when they got halfway that her expression began to twist slowly but surely from one of absolute contentment, to one of complete shock and fright.  
It was a slow and subtle change at first, but she would wake to find Shinji desperately calling her name with a look of pure panic for her wellbeing.

…

An explosion rocked the silent dark void that was the place of rest and respite from the harshness of reality. A massive, loud explosion which seemed to rock Rei's very mind with its magnitude.  
The sound of screams echoed across her subconscious mind, mingled with the insufferable crashing of collapsing rubble.  
A massive cross shot several meters into the red and maroon sky which seemed to materialize out of thin air in her dream. The unmistakable sign of an impact.

Roaring laughter filled the air, mingling among the cries of the dying in a twisted sort of sarcasm.  
Multiple voices, hooting, giggling, chuckling and guffawing all at once.  
Among them Rei made out the unmissable voice of Gendo Ikari, her creator, laughing the hardest among the rest and being the last to stop. He had won. He had initiated human instrumentality and doomed the Earth and everyone on it in the process.

Her view of the lucid dream drifted downward from the high place in the sky where she could see Earth in its entirety to a mostly empty beach which would have looked mostly unharmed and nice if it wasn't for the orange LCL fluid scattered around the sands.

Laying there clutching each other's hands, were the last two survivors of mankind. The nicest pacifist and the meanest antagonist. A Japanese boy and a German girl. Shinji and Asuka.  
The boy slowly stood up and walked a few steps to the girl. He bent down with outstretched arms, clearly intending to give her a hug to express his relief that she was still safe along with his jubilation that of all the people he could have ended up with in this dying planet, she was the one.

And for all her faults and all the mistakes she had made over the years they had been together prior to the world's destruction, he still loved her and was looking forward to a lifetime of simple pleasure in their union.

But as his smiling face connected with hers, she looked upon him with a look of pure hatred.  
"How disgusting" she nonchalantly spat, as if his presence was more of a bother to her than the destruction of the rest of the world and the loss of everyone she had known.

And as the dreaming Rei could only helplessly watch, Asuka quickly raised her two arms and began to strangle Shinji. Shinji choked and gasped but Asuka showed him no respite and calmly continued to tighten her grip on his unprotected neck like a wrench tightening around a bolt.  
The boy coughed out a few drops of blood as his eyes began to roll shut. The girl grinned.

The last two survivors of instrumentality had become the last survivor. And the last survivor, was a complete and utter jerk with not a care in the world for the race whose extinction she had indirectly caused through her misconduct and pride.

It was over. It was all over. SEELE had won, Gendo had triumphed and Asuka had gotten away with everything.  
But worst of all, Shinji, her Shinji was dead.

Then everything vanished and she woke up, sweating all over with her hairs on end and her eyes unable to stop blinking.

….  
"Wake up Rei. Wake up" Shinji anxiously pleaded as Rei's eyes snapped opened.

"No. not again. I've had this dream so many times before, but somehow it feels more real this time." Rei whispered extremely frightfully to herself unheard by the boy who gave her purpose in life, her eyes turned away from him so as not to burden him with her petty little problems which should have been material concerns to him after all he had been through for her already.

"Why do I have to dream such terrible things?" she angrily chastised herself as she turned to look back at Shinji with an expression as close to normality as she could manage.

"Nothing Shinji. I'm fine. Really" she insisted, managing a grimacing smile through sheer willpower as she said this despite the painful salty water rapidly flooding into her tear ducts.

"Look Shinji. We've arrived." She quickly announced upon seeing the car stop in a parking lot on the verge of a outdoor plaza filled with stalls and people both adults and children dress in yukata's just like them, determined to change the subject to keep the unease left upon her from her nightmare hidden.

She couldn't risk putting more pressure on Shinji which might poison him against her again. Not now. Not when he might still run charging back to Asuka the instant he saw that she was anything less than better than that tyrannical villain in every way.  
Asuka simply wanted to appear flawless. And now Rei wanted to actually become flawless down to the last detail. And the first rule of flawlessness as far as she was concerned from her years spent holding her tongue in cramped NERV meetings rooms full of nonstop bickering and verbal beatdowns which could ignite at the drop of a hat, was to say as little of her problems to anyone as possible.

If she didn't state her fears to Shinji, he wouldn't know she had them. And if he didn't know she had them, he wouldn't feel troubled by them and they couldn't hurt him even if they could hurt her.  
Ignorance is bliss, as the old saying often went.

She forced herself to keep her head held high as she walked alongside Shinji and Mari into the thick of the very lively event lit with beautifully designed lanterns.  
It was their night out but mostly Shinji's night out, and she fully intended to make it his best night ever.

The night began with a lovely trip to the Sushi stand where the three pilots ate their faces off. Being an EVA pilot was tough work and the sight of so much cultural cuisine made them drool with addiction at every mouthful.  
Tough to say which exotic dish was the best, but then again none of them kept track anyway since it was all so delicious.

They wandered the festival for a bit, enjoying the sumptuous sights of ancient cultural Japan pre-impact, or as best as it could be recreated in the tough times the world was now going through.  
They stopped occasionally to say hello to some of the other festival attendants, all of who wore Yukatas just like them. Shinji noticed as they walked that Rei seemed especially eager to keep her hand in his and very unwilling to let him pull away. And as introverted and antisocial Asuka had made him through her years of physical and verbal abuse, he could not help but welcome Rei's intimate embrace of her hand in his and her shoulder leaning against him.

He could not help but relish this wonderful roll reversal where for just once in his life, he felt wanted. He felt needed. He felt that if he were to die right now eaten alive by an alien abomination whose only purpose was to kill and eat everything that wasn't its own kind, it would be alright since at least he would be remembered fondly by just one person who had not taken his attempts at kindness for granted after all.

His first, last and only wish had truly been granted after all.

"Please. Don't let go Shinji. Not yet at least." Rei implored as the happy noises of the festival seemed to fade out of reality the further, they walked hand in hand, looking at each other with deep loved filled eyes as the world around them turned to a blur. "Keep this going a little longer. For me."

"I won't let go Rei. I won't…" Shinji began to reply only to be cut off mid-sentence as three large teenagers clad in pitch black Yukata's strode out from behind a stall in front of them and reality came back upon him once again.  
They stepped in front of the three pilots blocking their way, sneering with clenched fists and teeth.  
It was clear they were spoiling for a fight.

"So you're the pathetic, worthless one they call Shinji Ikari." The raven haired largest of the gang proclaimed as he sized up the three pathetic little shrimps him and his gang were holding up, his words directed at the only boy among them.  
"The one who got to be an EVA pilot just because he has a dad in high places, while we don't."

"Um…no. It's not like that. Please, just let us go." Shinji pleadingly begged only for the bullies smile to intensify tenfold. It was clear his fear and terror were most gratifying to them.  
He very nearly wished Asuka was here to help him, only brushing away the stupid thought upon realizing that she would most likely not care enough to do anything but leave him to his fate.

"Your dad treats you sooooo well. He gives you everything while he leaves us to STARVE!" the ringleader retorted, beginning to raise his fists as his two lackeys followed suit.  
"He'd rather choose pathetic little piglets like you and your two little pathetic excuses of friends when he has people like us."

"But I don't like pilot…" he tried to say only to be cut off once again as the bullies took a step forward.

"You broke my heart you miserable little faggot. You took all of the great and wonderful Asuka Langley Soryu's affection for yourself and left me in the dust!" the bully barked, more animal than human as his face contorted with loathing and jealousy. "You stole her love for yourself. You broke my heart. And now, I'm going to break something of yours. Starting with your friends."

"We haven't done anything to you. Please leave us in peace" Mari tried to order only to be hit full in the face by a vicious backhand blow which knocked her glasses from her eyes and sent her sprawling backwards to crash into a lemonade stand causing a puddle of lemonade to spill all over the asphalt as she cried out in pain and surprise.

"I'm alright" she called back.

"MARI!" Shinji cried in shock and anguish.

"Oh, you very much have wronged us." Another bully with brown hair in a ponytail said through clenched teeth. "And now it's time for all of you to pay the consequences. The sooner we get rid of you. The SOONER GENDO WILL MAKE US EVA PILOTS AND THE SOONER ASUKA WILL START NOTICING US INSTEAD OF YOU!"  
He was shouting madly by the end of his rant as sweat trickled down his face and saliva out of his mouth.

Rei who had at first been cowering in terror as all her usual social awkwardness came back upon her, had managed to lift her hands away from her face as she heard Mari's scream as she managed to stop shaking.  
Now taking a glance at Shinji's practically white face which looked as he was about to keel right over at any moment, caused an inner fire hotter than the sun to burn within her.

So, this was what her poor, misunderstood saviour and benefactor, had to deal with every day of his miserable life. So many insults but none of the context of all he and the other pilots had been through. And what he alone had to go through in addition…

Shivers had run down her spine when Shinji briefly remarked upon his daily troubles even outside of Asuka's influence, but seeing such atrocities unfold before her very eyes…

Rei had already snapped once today, spilling her guts out in a way she never thought possible.  
But one more look at how Shinji's hopeless eyes were like dark tunnels and how Mari was visibly trembling as she struggled weakly to her feet, the Angel part of the half human, half Angel Rei was beginning to reawaken.  
It wanted retribution, revenge and to raze the world itself in the name of all those dear to her. It lent the blue haired girl strength she never thought she could possess.

On some days she would curse moments like these and do everything in her power to restrain herself. Today she welcomed the momentary boost of power now coursing through her veins. She was an Angel. Shinji's guardian angel.

"It isn't just Asuka who can defend you from bullies, Shinji." Rei inwardly intoned as she courageously leapt in front of the incredulous Shinji as the larger of the two teenage bullies closed in upon him.

"Let him go. He's had enough already." Rei firmly told the bullies in the voice of a stern headmaster.  
"Leave us alone or as the first child, I will have you all reported to the commander of NERV himself for assaulting a pilot and the consequences will be very harsh."

Rather than angry, the bully leader seemed amused by this entire affair which knocked the wind out of Shinji as he watched Rei stare down the three jerks twice her size, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was not dreaming this up.  
Asuka's punches must have knocked him unconscious. This couldn't really be happening.

"You're standing up for a wimpy wimp like that? What's he to you? Look at him. He's probably runs away from his own shadow. Look at the wimpy ass way he's shaking right now. He'll probably never measure up to anything."

"He already measures up to more than what any of you can imagine. And I know it because I've been with him and I know him the way none of you do." Rei rebutted, forcing back guilty thoughts of the past several years since the first day she met Shinji.

"No" she whispered as an apparition of young Rei materialized out of thin air and stared at her tauntingly. "I'm different now. Shinji made me different. And I've changed. I regret what I did to Shinji and the others in the past, and I'm not going to repeat the same mistakes you made" The young Rei finally gave in and lowered her head as she vanished back into present Rei's memory, hopefully to stay dormant evermore just in time for the tall and thin dark haired giant to issue his next insult.

"You must be really retarded if you think he's worth protecting. The chief of NERV must have been on some sort of high when he picked you to be his favourite, eh Rei. Ha. Rei. What kind of stupid name is that? Your mother couldn't love you enough to be to bothered to come up with a proper name? Now why don't you just get out the way and we won't hurt you. Come on. Work with me here. It's only stupid Shinji that we want."

The words "stupid Shinji" caused steam to billow fiercely from Rei's ears in a gigantic plume, as she raised her own fists which she had until that moment kept at her sides in a vain attempt to reason with an unreasonable monster.

Shinji would never know why the next words that came out of her mouth were as calm and steady as her usual speech despite her evident fury at the three thugs she was daring to stand up against, all in his name. Rei really was a goddess.

"Don't be so proud of your cruel habit of making fun at the expense of others. The ability to be so uncaring and selfish to the selfless hero who risked his life countless times for you, is insignificant to the raw talent and courage that Shinji, and Shinji alone possesses having sacrificed so much for us all in his selfless crusade"

"Get in there Nami blue" Mari quietly cheered as she observed the confrontation with her own fists readied in case worst came to worst.

The bully laughed a little as his two lackeys struggled to keep a straight face over Rei's overzealous praises of Shinji.  
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways. Your sad devotion to that steaming pile of compost not worth the space he takes up on Earth, will not help you in the slightest when we smash your faces in."

And without further ado, the three large brutes charged at the three young pilots who had put themselves on the line countless times to protect their ungrateful attackers and their world.  
Rei managed to elbow the ringleader in the chest and kick him in the shin, but this move left her back turned to the other two teenagers who quickly moved on to capitalize on her weakness…

Only for the brown haired one with the ponytail to be tackled to the ground by a very determined Shinji and the remaining red haired quiff to be smacked in the face by Mari who sprang forward with lightning speed upon sensing an opening, her agility reflecting none of the lingering pain her backside had sustained from her earlier fall.

With his much larger opponent firmly in his grasp, Shinji recklessly dived for the ground in a move he had seen Asuka pull off many times before that she called "a submission". From the cry of pain his victim made upon hitting the ground, he had inflicted quite a bit of damage, but this did not stop the two from engaging in a messy struggle in which both took turns being on top and beneath each other, getting battered all the while.

Mari and her redhead roughneck foe sustained multiple bruises as they fought, neither saying a word to the other as they let their fists and feet do the talking for them.

Rei fought valiantly but even with her enhanced strength and reflexes as a half Angel artificial human, she was eventually brought down with a wild knee to her stomach which she failed to dodge in time in spite of her best efforts.  
She felt her wind being knocked from her as she fell face first to the hard rocky ground, sustaining a bleeding gash to her chin in the process.

The dark-haired leader bully stood over her smirking for a moment.

"Only human" he quipped unable to resist the temptation to make just one more bad pun before finishing the now defenceless bluenette.

It was then that a very powerful impact in his spinal region knocked him off balance and before he could register what was going on, his neck was clamped into a powerful vice grip which in his weakened state, he could not break from.

The air was very nearly squeezed from him when his ambusher turned him around still with his chin in the stranglehold to reveal the mild and innocent face of Kensuke, a close friend of Shinji's. "Dodge this." He answered, at least kind enough to finish the lead bully's sadistic one liner, before hitting him hard in the head, knocking him out cold. It was this ability to make light in even the darkest of situations that made him a closer friend to Shinji than a lot of the other EVA pilots.

Kensuke had charged in the direction of the scuffle the second he heard the sounds of fighting breaking out while Shinji's so-called other friend Toji chose to turn tail and run, excusing himself by saying that he needed to get home quickly to get some shuteye before tomorrow's work at NERV.

"Some friend you are" Kensuke had muttered under his breath as he pressed on regardless, arriving just in time to make a timely intervention without which Rei would surely have been fatally injured or even killed.

"Thanks Kensuke." Shinji gratefully exclaimed upon finally subduing his enemy with a rock he had managed to grab during their scuffle. "You're the best."

"Friends watch each other's backs, Shinji. And you are my true friend." Kensuke quickly replied as he ran towards the bully Mari was fighting and dealt with him in the same way he had dealt with the previous one.

"I can see why Shinji spoke highly of you." Mari coyly remarked as they exchanged friendly handshakes through their sweaty hands as she introduced herself to him. "Mari Makinami Illustrious. Fourth child and fourth pilot of NERV. It's an honour to finally make your acquaintance. Mr Kensuke Aida"

"The honour is mine" Kensuke quickly replied.

They helped a still conscious but very dizzy Rei to her feet before they dusted themselves off.  
"Let's get out here." Mari suggested. "We can go to my house."

"I'd like that, but I have some NERV stuff at home I urgently need to be getting on with tonight" Kensuke apologetically said as he took a look at his watch.  
"But I'll see you around Shinji. Take good care of yourself now."

He quickly took a look at the way Shinji's other friends now stood beside him. This boy was in good hands now and it made everything he had tried to do for Shinji worth it to see a smile which filled him with determination and hope.

"You all take good care of my friend Shinji too." He happily asked.

"We will." Rei answered as Kensuke took one last wave before heading in the other direction presumably towards his home.

Shinji, Rei and Mari waited until Kensuke's footsteps had died away before they turned to head to Mari's blue SUV. The festival had ended in the time it took them to ward off the bullies, but it didn't matter. As gruesome as it was and as sorry as they felt for their victims, that fight had brought the three of them closer together than ever.

In particular, Shinji and Rei were staring at each other with deep love filled eyes as they sat side by side in the back-row seats of the SUV as it drove off with a triumphant rev.

Rei had saved Shinji.

Shinji had saved Rei.

They had saved each other, and Mari and Kensuke had helped.

Life couldn't have been better.

…

In an deep underground room with smooth white floors and walls reinforced with plenty of sound proof tiles, a blonde-haired young woman was bent over a set of diagrams she had on a clipboard in her hands.  
She checked and rechecked the diagrams in meticulous detail before taking another look at the large metal giant that a group of engineers and her fellow scientists from NERV were bent over, hammering and welding various parts into place.

A few questions to a few of them and a careful look at their progress herself later, the woman concluded that for now all progress was satisfactory as she sat on a nearby bench to take a little time to rest, having been stood up for the greater part of the day working and checking the progress of said work.

"It'll be finished soon ,Shinji" she said to herself as she looked at a photo she had on the wall to remind her and the other members of NERV she had managed to gather to her side of the main reason they were all here besides the salvation of the world. "Soon you really won't have to pilot an EVA ever again. And neither will your friends. I know you don't like piloting Shinji."

Said photo showed every single child pilot of NERV, for once in their life all smiling contentedly if only because they were attempting to look at least passable for a formal photograph they were posing for.  
Most notably, Asuka's face in the picture had been smudged out with thick ink and Toji's had been crossed out with a single line.

Conveniently they were the ones sitting furthest away from Shinji and next to each other. Like two dastardly villains secretly plotting some nefarious scheme which could destroy a nation.

As the blonde haired chief scientist of NERV Ritsuko Akagi, better known as "Alphys" by some of her closer friends stared fixated at the seemingly harmless picture, tears blurred her vision until eventually salty water began to trickle from her usually serious eyes and she was forced to grab a handful of hankies from the large packet of hankies she now kept in her trouser pockets for such emergencies.

"I'm so sorry Shinji." She cried as she tried without success to compose herself through her tears which were completely uncharacteristic of the rational and resigned preacher of science and rationalism she was supposed to be. "I let Misato and Asuka beat you around for so long without doing anything, and it cost me everything."

She slapped herself hard in the face as the tears continued.

"My greatest failure Shinji is that I failed you. I should have been more careful, but I let my pride, my vanity, my drive for revenge against innocent people who didn't deserve any of my hatred get the better of me. I was so busy with my own selfish needs that I forgot about you, Shinji. I shouldn't have let Misato keep you Shinji."

Her sobs subsided a little after several repeat as she turned her attention to another photo she had on the wall of a younger Misato and her back in university. How the times had changed, and yet how little Misato had changed.

"I always hoped Misato would grow out of it." Ritsuko confessed as she turned her head to look up at the heavens as if to plea upon the mercy of god himself. "I was always trying to get her to change her attitude of laughing at the expense of others. But I guess I failed that too."

She clenched a fist at the younger Misato still in her school uniform. "I'm sorry Misato. Sorry I ever met you and Kaji. You're both backward hicks and immature sadists who never learned how to grow up and act your age."

She wiped a few of her tears away with a hanky before slapping herself once more. The guilt she now felt towards herself, was all consuming.

"I'm no priest either Misato. But at least now I'm trying to make things right. And until you try to make things right, I'm afraid we can't be friends anymore."

Her gaze drifted to a third picture. A picture that once represented the bane of her existence which now represented the purpose of her continued commitments and hard work in life.  
The most important picture for the chief scientist of NERV to wake up at the crack of dawn every morning to quickly and diligently get to work on the forbidden projects that Gendo would surely have her killed for if he caught her in the act of performing them.

Ritsuko closed her eyes as more tears flooded out from her now very sore and red eyes regardless.

"Rei. I won't ask you to forgive me. You have a right to hate me for every atrocity I've committed over my miserable excuse of my life. But please. I ask of you just one favour. Just, a semblance of a favour. Let me help you this one time. Let me show you just this once that my intentions are noble and that I really do regret everything I've done to you. "

She walked down a flight of stairs to a room where several capsules were tidily positioned in two straight rows. In each liquid filled capsule, lay a clone of the blue haired first child of NERV, Rei Ayanami. At the back of the room, sat a gigantic machine whose vast array of screens, buttons, switches and wires would have made even the most complex devices officially part of NERV's laboratory look simple in comparison.

Ritsuko's back strained with pressure as she looked over her self-proclaimed greatest invention ever and remembered the sleepless nights she had spent perfecting every part of it down to the tiniest detail.  
Every cog, gear, screw. Everything was proofread till her eyes cracked dry with exhaustion and she fell asleep, her head on the machine she spent all night working on.  
She would turn up the following day in NERV barely able to remember her name or speak without a yawn as her eyes rolled open and shut uncontrollably.

But great crimes required even greater exertion to earn redemption.

"You are no longer in any danger Rei." Ritsuko fervently announced, knowing there was no one in the room but herself. "I've already fixed the clones of you that I nearly destroyed, and now I've finally finished the device that will finally restore all your memories that you lost."

She finally stopped crying completely as she wiped the tears from her eyes and cracked a tiny ghost of a grin.  
"I know you like Rei, Shinji. And I know you like Shinji Rei. And when my plans have succeeded, you two will be able to be safely together away from the tyranny of NERV and the angels. This I promise."

And last of all, she ventured into another corner of the room where a table with a picture of a brown-haired woman in a white lab coat just hers stood silently judging her in an expression that was neither friendly nor friendly.

"Don't worry… mother. After the Evangelions are no longer needed to fight the Angels, I will find a way to bring you back as well, without destroying the world. Then you can apologize to Rei too."

She stood there in solemnity for a few moments, her hands clasped in prayer like she sometimes saw people do at church when she was little. She was not normally a religious person, but moments like these deserved an honest to goodness prayer even if she was only praying to a god that she didn't believe in.

"It isn't just you two who miss your mothers, Shinji and Asuka." She sarcastically but sympathetically remarked once she opened her eyes and stepped away from the makeshift shrine, taking care not to turn her back until she was out of the room. "We orphans should stick together."

In the room above her, the small but tireless legion of the few devoted followers Ritsuko "Alphys" had managed to gather through her sheer faith to her cause. were still hard at work building the giant metal robot only slightly smaller than an EVA, "the amalgamates" as some of the scientists working there preferred to call.

They were now in the process of adding a huge cannon on it's back which would give it a powerful ranged attack that even the most powerful EVA did not have, allowing it to fight at range while staying safely out of striking distance of the Angels and other foes alike that it was intended to combat.

On the reinforced grey metal chest plate of the nearly finished robot written in big bold white letters, were two words.  
Two big and wonderful words that Shinji, Mari and Rei thought they'd never hear again since the awful incident in which their hopes of finally finding their hopes and dreams in freedom were dashed against the jagged rocks of despair and unluckiness as the last of the light in their eyes went dim, never to fully rekindle.

The two words: JET ALONE.

_Not much really to say here. Just thank you all so much for reading and reviewing and being such epic and amazing people. Props to everyone who read to this far. No really guys. I thank you all.  
I guess all I really can say is, you'd think by now NERV would start building something better to fight the Angels? It's clear the EVA's aren't doing the job well. _


End file.
